tangerine trees and marmalade skies: Reasons why it's really just best for me to stay away from the internet, actually:

radicallyhottoff:

thecurvature:

Because I just learned that somebody actually wrote this. (Massive Trigger Warning)

Shorter Big Official Feminist: If we can’t ascribe exactly the same motivations down to the very last detail to each and every rapist who has ever raped, there will be chaos! Therefore, it is best to tell lots…

Amanda Marcotte…..just took my breath away. Literally. The fundamental problem with her argument: she assumes that doctors are essentially good, and don’t interact with birthing women *with the intention* of “raping” them (i use scare quotes only to note that it is a contested word within Amanda’s essay). I wonder why Amanda assumes that doctors should be just handed that assumption, when for the most part, obgyns especially, have done little to nothing to deserve it. 

Amanda assumes doctors may be mean or even evil, but in the end, their *intention* is to birth a child. Not control or use power to control the birthing mother. Why do we assume this about obgyns? Why do we assume that they intend to birth babies? Especially when most women who have birthed know that doctors very often only show up to catch the child, then they leave (in vaginal births)? Doctors are “busy.” so they don’t show up until they have to—and they don’t have to until there are *problems* or until the baby is in the birthing canal. 

When they show up to deal with the “problems” that nurses can’t manage or don’t have the authority to—are they necessarily showing up with the intention to birth a child? Or—in the case of a woman who is screaming (or even just moaning really loudly), or is swearing a lot, or is taking too long or is maybe a little drunk or high, or who ripped off her monitor or is insisting on kneeling rather than lying flat on her back etc etc etc etc—is he there to birth a child? or is he there to control? To use his authority to force compliance with hospital rules? I’ve stood right next to a birthing woman, and said nothing while a nurse yelled at her to stop moaning. Neither one of us said a thing (even though we both called her a bitch after she left), because what would happen to us, to *her* if we did? Eventually she wound up getting pain killers that she didn’t want because she just couldn’t handle the pain without making noise. And she didn’t know what would happen if she wasn’t quiet. What would they do to her? What would they do to her baby? The only way she could retain control over her body was through compliance.

When medical authorities use their power to control women’s bodies—that’s not rape because…..?

When a woman says to me that she’s scared to say no to a doctor because she doesn’t know what will happen to her, to her child, if she does…that’s not a “bad birthing experience,” that’s violence. That’s rape culture forcing women to submit and comply under the threat of direct physical consequences. When a woman has sex because if she doesn’t she will be hurt, that is rape, even if she agreed to have sex. When a woman gets drugged up, submits to a C-section, is forced to remain silent, submits to unwanted vaginal checks,  etc etc because if she doesn’t, she will be hurt, that is rape. 

a penis is not necessary for rape, a vagina is not necessary to be raped. forceful penetration can happen in many different ways. 

and of course, none of this even begins to broach the topic of “traditional” understandings of rape that happen when a woman’s legs are in stirrups.  when she’s being checked and a doctor takes longer than he should, or says inappropriate shit. 

i have no computer and I was oding a longer post about the call out/levity/ etc meme.

and this ya’ll

took my fucking breath away.

The person who violated me was a doctor after I was in a Horrific car accident. I was 13 and to have some one invade you

and comment on you 

and what you must be like cause you know what they are like 

and know you can’t say shit cause it’s what happens

and I’m writing a letter to that person I was and what I lost

and it doesn’t make the grade ….

cause well 

what I lost ain’t enough

what women lose isn’t enough

and then I read who it is and who the fuck is actually shocked